Whether you're a gay couple or a straight couple, buying a home together
offers you one very important thing: shared shelter from the elements. For
most lesbians and gays, however. owning a home can give you several other
things crucial to your long-term happiness: a place to throw fabulous
parties, ground space for your Jacuzzi, a garage to store your Porsche, and
a sunken living room for watching Will and Grace (while lounging comfortably
in your Birkenstocks or bikinis).
Seriously though, buying property together can be an adjunct to the
success of any relationship. Still, it's a long-term investment that carries
responsibility and, as with any major undertaking, it has the potential
success or failure. Whether it succeeds or fails may feel like it's out of
your hands, but there are certain things you can do to help ensure your
success.
Prior to even contacting a real estate professional, sit down with your
significant other and seriously discuss the pros and cons of home ownership.
Realtor Ed Downs says this heart-to-heart can be vital to your success.
"Taking into account that you might actually have a serious enough spat
one day," says Downs, "you may decide to have a spare bedroom." A serious
discussion that leads to practical decisions and planning, he notes, can be
the difference between longterm success and failure.
Be coldly practical for a few minutes and ask yourselves about why you
want to buy a home and what is important about owning a home. Will this be
part of your long-term commitment to one another, or could it be a
last-ditch attempt to save a failing relationship? Are you looking for a new
way to invest your earnings, or are you merely looking for a tax dodge? Is
your relationship "open," and will you need more than one kitchen? Do you
prefer walking the dog every morning, or would you rather open the back door
and let him play in the yard? Will having a private dungeon really make
things any better?
Next to a civil union vow in Vermont, your potential mortgage will
probably be the biggest contract the two of you will ever have together.
Since the law does not usually recognize the rights of unmarried people,
it's important that you decide how you will take title of your home. Realtor
Keith Blackburn offers some information on his website (www.keithblackburn.com)
for unmarried couples buying a home together.
"Normally, there are two choices: as tenants in common or as joint
tenants," Blackburn writes. "Tenants in common share ownership of the
property, in that each party holds an identifiable (percentage) interest in
the property." This means that each person owns part of the home and that
portion can be passed on to any outside party - for instance, you can leave
the home to your lover or to someone else, in the event of your death.
For people living in D.C. or Maryland, Blackburn notes, it is presumed
that you'll be taking title as tenants in common unless you specifically
state otherwise.
"Joint tenancy," he goes on, "is a form of ownership where all parties
hold title together, undivided. In the case of death by one or more of the
parties, their interest automatically passes to the surviving parties." In
this scenario, the title automatically goes to your lover (or whoever is on
the contract with you) in the event of your death.
Ed Downs says that real estate agents are good at keeping you abreast of
current laws of experience and staying on track during the whole
representing process. They are not, however, couples counselors. Try to iron
out any disagreements you have about buying a home prior to meeting with an
agent.
Though agents may be able to help take the mystery out of buying a home,
they can't explain why your lover needs a separate room to hold evening chat
sessions on AOL.
